Happy Random Guilt-Ridden Holiday That Saw Me Just spend $18.95 on Two Cards

Plus I had a pleasant self-satisfied chuckle watching a group of forlorn love-stricken zombies clutching tiny overpriced bouquets of flowers and stumbling listlessly through a line up twenty deep at Loblaws last night while I was blowing money on cards, one of which was basically a squirrel saying “Mom! Mama! Mom!” like a hundred times. Real lyrical magic that. All this proving that Valentine’s Day is the most nefarious, inescapable, anti-husband/boyrfriend holiday ever executed by the wizards at Hallmark. I hate them. But still…

Things you might choose to do with this photo:

  1. Print it off huge on a canvas and hang in your living room preferably facing the window (which will give you unlimited street cred in the environs of HMB).
  2. Do the same, but on your ceiling so the Z is the first thing you see upon waking up. Not cringy at all, and gives you a nice kick-start to the day. (It works for me, anyway.)
  3. Print onto the back of playing cards and give to your dads for Father’s day. They’ll love bringing these bad boys to their next poker night! (Check #1 for street cred bonus)
  4. Get it. Print it. Get me to sign it. Sell that bad boy on ebay for top dolla! Globalization, baby!
  5. Print it on gift cards at Costco and distribute to all your friends and enemies. Your friends will love you. Your enemies will fear you. You got connections, brah!
  6. Change “Be Mine” to “Merry Christmas”, wait until December and revisit #5
  7. Buy a speedboat. Print this on the side of it. Super fly.
  8. Buy a 2009 Elantra with sport spoiler. Do NOT put this on the side of it. Thou shalt not disturb the beauty of a sport Elantra with more beauty. That’s just crazy talk.
  9. Silk screened t-shirts. Need I say more?
  10. Oh Hi, Mark.

Happy expensive fabricated holiday everyone! Hope you all have a great Valentine’s Day!


The Congratulations! Cupcake/Kiva Post With a Dose of Science

Congrats to R6A for Getting to the HMB First Annual Dodgeball Throwdown Finals!

A close battle against the nefarious Evil Unicorns left R6A just one win away from eternal glory and legendary bragging rights! But hey, that’s the way it goes. Still, kudos for taking the loss like good sports and having good attitudes about the tournement. Zman Army, or 2 Man Army – or whatever they’re calling us these days – Forever!!!

Term One Almost Done!

Thanks to parents for your support in getting your kids to hand in their presentations/assignments/reports and study for their tests and bring in reading books and not give me their flu! After all that, we made it through term one!!! That is probably more exciting for me than it is you because it means we’re that much closer to summer when I return your precious possessions to you for the rest of their lives.  And yes, teachers start looking forward to the summer shortly after Christmas break. Report cards are coming soon, so stay tuned.

Tomorrow is the Kiva Cupcake Challenge!

Kids are encouraged to bring $2 in for a delicous cupcake, the money going to Kiva which is a great charity getting much-needed dollars to struggling entrepreneurs in developing countries. Kind of like when I gave Steve Jobs a bundle of moola to help with his little start up called Apple. Maybe you’ve heard of it? I have promised to match students’ donations to a total of $56.00 which is the resulting product of 28 x 2 if I’ve got my math right, something Vegas has at 50% odds. Hey, I teach grade 6 math. That doesn’t exactly make me Elon Musk.

Aaaaand Finally – Science!

Science tests were OK, which is my politically correct euphemism for “meeeeeehhhh.” In particular, the long form answers did not display any great deal of critical thought, imagination or development. Don’t worry, we still have half a year to work on those skills. If you’d like to look at an A level piece of work with some serious thinking going on, Owen said I could use his, so HERE it is.

And I’m out.


Reminder of Upcoming Life Changing Due Dates

Just to ruin your long weekend… a reminder of all the things coming up:


Monday: Art – like mega overdue (a month late or so). It’s Art. Let’s get serious. Get er done.

Tuesday: Your Science REPORTS are ALL due on Tuesday (Report exemplar and checklists are posted in Google Classroom). And YES!!! you do have to do reports. For the bazillionth time*!

Tuesday: Your descriptive paragraphs are also due. Too bad, you had these for over a week. Don’t bug me. I’ll give you a little class time to work on these and hopefully peer edit.

Tuesday to Thursday: Science Prezis. You should know your dates. Descripton and checklist is in Google Classroom.

Wednesday: Nothing (except the stuff you didn’t hand in when you were supposed to.)

Thursday: Hopefully the Science test which we will review this week, so don’t panic. Yet. You are responsible for information from the following sheets:

a) Solar System

b) Solar System Diagram

c) Bill Nye: Outer Space, The Moon, The Sun

d) What Can You See in the Sky?

*This is a true number used on the streets which is where I come from.

Now… do it… do it…. do it…

Loved 2 Groove!

Processed with MOLDIV

Some of these pics require explanation, but I’m not giving it. To be honest, I chalk most of this week up to interpretive dance, but I didn’t bring my Rosetta Stone so have very little idea as to what was going on.  Still, the kids had fun and the effort was there. Well worth the $6.00. Especially since I wasn’t the one paying!

But now we’re into crunch time. So here goes…

Coming up!

  1. Math Test. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday, the date to be determined by how much whining I face on Monday when I announce the Tuesday date. (Experience dictates that Las Vegas has the odds firmly in favor of a Wednesday test.) The subject will be perimeter and area of rectangles, triangles and parallelograms.

2. Science Review and test coming up. I’m shooting for Thursday but since we live on planet Earth and not a dream world inhabited by myself and a bunch of adoring students who do whatever I ask, never complain/threaten/conjole me and shower me with rose petals and ten dollar bills, it will probably be pushed to the next week.

3. Kids have science projects they are currently working on. This is a biggie. Worth lots of marks. The presentations of prezis will be during the week of Jan 29 to Feb 2. Reports are due on Jan 29. This is in Google Classroom. If you would like to look at the overall project description, it’s HERE. The checklist for the Prezi is HERE. Both will also be in Google Classroom as well as a checklist and exemplar for the report portion of the project.

A-a-a-a-a-and that’s all for now. (If you hear I have mysteriously disappeared, or a small twin engine jet I was flying went down somewhere in the Himilayas, expect foul play and contact the appropriate authorities.)

The – Happy New Year! Give Me More Money! and Great Work Aliyah! – First Post of 2018

Happy 2018 Everybody!


Ok, now that that’s taken care of in a “Oh look, what a cute baby! Mr. Z must be a good guy with a huge heart to have a baby like that!” kind of way, lets get down to da bidness of the new year.

Love to Groove! (Six Dollars please.)

Also known as “Love to Take Your 6 Dollas!” If you want to know more about the program, here you go:Otherwise, take my word for it, the Z teaching the kids to waltz is and/or get jiggy with it is not a pretty thing. Despite my legendary performance at the Christmas dance that has become a thing of hip hop legend.

Out of This World Work, Aliya!

Some kids have been asking the age-old question: “How do I get “A”s?” and the age-old response is basically… “Work really really hard.” A few “A”s were given out for the recent work on the Solar System. Here’s an example of Aliya’s diagram. Check out the neatness, scale and colour. Pretty sweet:

And if you’d like to check out her facts (in sentence form) you can see them HERE.

And we saw a couple really cool spoken word poems today I thought I would share here in case you’d like to watch again. The first is one of my fave things we’ll look at this year. A spoken poem to end spoken poems called “To This Day”. The second is by an ex-student of mine named Namitha Rathinapillai. I’d like to say I taught her everything she knows, but that would be an egregious misrepresentation of fact. Little did I know the kid had serious hidden gifts like this! I think the title of her spoken poem is “Shrilankan Woman”.

Super Mega Athletes and Happy Holidays!

Not much to report on the academic front. Parents can imagine how smoothly the last week before a major holidays goes, and their imagination would probably fall short by about seven major behavioural outbreaks, a couple bouts of tears and, most likely, me hiding under my desk at some point. Still, so far we’re all alive.  And if you’re not too busy looking forward to the next instalment of Star Wars (you should be) you’re pumped about the vacay. The best part of vacay? About two weeks from now when parents REALLY begin to value teachers!

But before we go, a big shout out to the students repping the 222 at recent Borden Ball regionals. And they would be Taif, Yara, Addy, Kavya and the Judester (who’s going to get mad at me for calling her that) for my girls team, and Aiden, Michael, Gavin and Aly for the boys. Sorry I don’t have a pic of the boys, but in my defence I was reffing their games and trying to help them score some wins. The girls came in third (kind of… depending on your math and who you talk to) and the boys lost to a pretty tough Aces team in the finals. Way to go everyone! I look forward to meeting you all on the hardcourt on Thursday for the TEACHER-STUDENT BEATDOWN! Get ready to face an army of mediocre hips and failing knees, but decidedly savy team play.


And on the potluck front… want one? We’ll discuss tomorrow and aim for Friday if people are down wit dat. And by people, I mean your parents, who will be real excited to make you something during this very laid back time of year.

And with that, I wish you all a great holiday just a little early, and hope you and your families get more sleep than mine! Peace! (said in super cool street-savy style hard core accent… you know how I do.)

We’re almost there people!


HMB Toy Drive, Dance Field Trip and Math Boot Camp, Oh My!

Half Moon Bay is running their annual toy drive for CAS. If you’re so inclined to give a toy, you can do so! Toys obviously go to families in need. They aren’t accepting used items or prepaid credit cards or weaponry of any kind which is weird because that’s pretty much all my son plays with – although, in his defence, he has career plans in the Power Ranger field from what I understand.

Parent Volunteer Alert!

We have the opportunity to go to a grand dance exhibition at South Carleton High School, my old stomping groung… which would explain my wicked dance moves. It’s on December 15 and we would need at least one parent volunteer. If you’d like to be one, please let me know ASAP so I can decide if we can go or not.

Math Boot Camp

If you’re all over that Math Boot Camp, remember to bring those baggies back in with mastery checked off… then we can get you up to the next level. Plus your abs will look magnificent!

And finally…

Globalization Assignment is due Tomorrow! Good luck!